Resisting the Cis-tem

Anonymous asked: I don't at all mean to bother you and I apologize for what may be a very stupid question. But well... I was born intersexed. And luckily my parents couldn't afford surgery to "fix" me. Outwardly I look like your typical cisgirl in boy's clothing, breasts and all until the pants are off. I have a penis and testicles, but mixed insidebits. I'm strictly male-identified (with a bit of drag at times) though... I don't know... would I be called trans, despite my genitals? I've been so confused... R.

Dear R.,

I love questions and it’s not stupid! I’m glad to answer as best as I can.

If you identify as trans, you are trans. And from what I’ve read about Intersex, quite a few people find themselves in this situation and some identify as trans and others don’t. Sooooo if you identify as trans*…..Welcome to the Trans* community! We’re glad to have you here!

-Gene

TreatQuestion Resisting the Cis-Tem

This is me. You can call me TQ. I’m GQ, use pronouns Xe, Hir, and Hirself. Most people read me as a Cis Male. Even worse, they think I’m straight. Sometimes, I have a beard. Mostly, I just want to be who I am without people gendering me man in pants and woman in a dress. Speaking of dresses, the image shows me, a fair-skinned pale person with medium-length brown hair that does not touch my shoulders.  I am wearing a red and gold dress, carrying a pink umbrella illuminated by the sun, and walking down steps.  I’m never quite happy with my presentation, being hairy and 6’2”.  It’s something I’m working on.  Mostly, society, it’s not me, it’s you.

they/them by nic alea

they/them

you tell me i’m the first person
who’s ever asked you to use they and them pronouns,
you say that it’s going to be hard
because people are singular not plural,

i wonder how long it will take me to get sick of that answer,
i wonder if i should sew recycled fabric on my clothes
that say:

refer to me like a hungry dinner party,
talk to me like a bus filled with photo happy tourists,
ask about me like a group of teenagers
stealing pop rocks from the 7-11,

they went that way,
they were running,
they were all filled up with
smoking gun and blistered heartache,
when you talk about me behind my back,
you will call me she,
you will call me her,
you will forget how hard it is for you
to remember the look in my eyes that said,

this is really important,
i can’t brand myself any more apparent
than tight bandages and full grown body
that took one jump off the binary
and never looked back.

video of the poem—here

-nic alea/humanshumans.tumblr

[First Image: A fat person with breasts wearing a t-shirt.  The t-shirt is the focus of the image.  It is green and reads “Call me NE I promise you, the earth won’t spin off its axis.”  Nir hand is visible, showing a rainbow jelly bracelet, a silver ring on nir pinky, and nir nails done and painted black.]

[Second Image: A different angle of the same person, this time showing nir face.  The shirt is cut off so only “Call me NE” is visible.  Ne has medium-dark blonde hair that is pulled back so it is mostly not visible, though ne has longish bangs and a few escaped strands on the left side.  Ne wears a thin choker necklace with a large, circular pewter pendant.  The image is not clear enough to show the necklace’s design.]

Wearing my ne shirt from Kiriamaya!  She’s such a sweetheart, and a lovely lady!  She’s also got all sorts of trans* goodies in her Skreened store.  If you need to make your pronoun choices clear, check it out, she’s got lots of options.  And a polite message in her tumblr ask box will probably get your pronoun added to the line if it’s not up there already!

I am, sadly, well aware of the fact that I look like a perfectly normal cisfemale.  One day, people will learn better than to assume gender.  Keep your genders off of me!  I have none.  I’m friendly, too, if anyone wants to say hello.

Social Transition Vs Medical Transition

I have researched both medical and social transition, And I have come to the conclusion that I would very much love to transition socially Vs medically. I want to live as a woman, dress as a woman, be addressed as a woman, and just be a woman. But I don’t want to do any medical procedures. 

Gender: an identity?

Reposted from Valentinelovecraft.com

I have noticed my gender identity din’t really fit with my sociatal norms arounds puberty. This was a point where, instead of people saying, “who’s that fat kid over there,” ey would say: “Is that a girl or a boy?” Later, they mostly just assumed whatever they wanted. I was given an androgynous name at birth. By this trait, when I changed high schools in freshman year my peers at my new school were at odds with how to appraise my gender. I wound up making the most lasting friendships with others that in some way were not easily categorizable, or others that were interested in me because I peaked eir curiosity. As a child, many of the toys I like were “construction” oriented. Construction type toys such as blocks are given to be categorized as male in our society, and as such were consider gender appropriate to my assigned sex of male. I also had an inordinate fondness for stuffed animal toys as a child, and played with an Israeli girl whose father shared an interest in chess with my father. When we would play together, it was only following the taunts of other children that I ever considered that my gender expression was anything other than normal. I began to deeply examine gender and its component parts during a period of time transitioning from living as a male to living as a female. Reading the book “Whipping Girl” by Julia Serrano it became clear to me through her biological analytical perspective that each discrete trait could be assigned a gender, and that gender was arbitrary from society to society. I concurrently read “Gender Outlaw” by Kate Bornstein, which suggesed one use what ever gender best suited the needs of the momest, to oversimplfy it. Every trait that could be defined, and when assigned to every society there is, shows no trait is patently female or male. Therefor, while my gender may not conform exactly to the society in which I live or any other society, it is my unique identity. My traits are just my traits, and they do not derive from gender. My gender is just a tool for people to try and define me so that they make presume many modes of interaction and aspects of character; it is for convenience of thought only and should not be used as a true description. Gender may suggest typical commonalities, but gender cannot define that person.